Public Profile

Bitsy Services LLC is a small, privately held consultancy in Woodinville, Washington whose stated purpose is difficult to establish from its public filings and whose sole principal, the independent researcher P. Reinholdtsen, has never found occasion to clarify it. Registered as a Washington limited liability company, the firm lists “services” as both its industry and its product, an arrangement its principal has described as “sufficient.” It maintains no storefront, publishes no rate sheet, and solicits no clients, characteristics it shares with the surrounding wine-country warehouse district but with, by most accounts, greater conviction.

Whatever else it does, Bitsy Services is the world’s only institutional home of recreational geodesy and of the Defensible Flat Earth, the genus-1 planetary model advanced in the working paper on which it appears as the first author’s affiliation. The paper, submitted to and rejected by the Journal of Recreational Geodesy and now under review at a venue with lower standards, argues that an anatomically correct dachshund equipped with a patent alimentary canal is a torus, and therefore — unlike the sphere — can carry an exactly flat metric. Bitsy Services thus occupies a category of one: it is simultaneously a firm of unspecified business and the only recognized institutional sponsor of the theory that the Earth is a flat dog.

The firm’s contribution to the field is best characterized as custodial. It furnishes the theory a letterhead, an address of record in a jurisdiction traditionally hospitable to unconventional coordinative definitions, and a proprietor willing to defend the model against every objection except the accusation of being pointless. Its research program, insofar as one can be inferred, comprises recreational geodesy pursued for its own sake, the geometry of genus-1 planets, and the still-forthcoming derivation of peristaltic trade theory, a companion result the firm has confirmed is in preparation and likely to remain so.

Articles

  • Paper Argues the Earth Is a Flat Dachshund — listed as the institutional affiliation of first author P. Reinholdtsen and identified as the sole institutional home of recreational geodesy and the Defensible Flat Earth