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Saturday, September 5, 2026

Half a Child Apiece: On the Bisection of the American Question and the Two Legislators Perfectly Content With Their Portions

September 5, 2026

Solomon proposed the sword as a diagnostic instrument; the American legislature has since adopted it as a method, and both claimants now leave the chamber pleased.

American Men Are Not Afraid to Discuss Politics, Study Finds; Their Views Simply Will Not Fit Through the Mouth

September 5, 2026

The average American political position requires nineteen hours and forty minutes to say aloud. The median listener reaches a conclusion at forty-one seconds.


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